Is America Still a Beacon of Hope?

FYI: The following is based on my opinion only. I know this might be a controversial take. So if you disagree, I am all ears. But please remain respectful and open-minded.

First off – I know I am not the only one weeping alongside Lady Liberty, Lady Justice…..Lady Freedom right now.

But before you @ me – please pull up a seat and read a little background story to get the FULL story.

Last Summer, during the Summer Riots – I did something I have never done before. Like….never. done. before. Never.
I purchased 3 flags: The American Flag, the LGBTQIA+BIPOC Flag, and a BLM Flag.
I checked Amazon everyday for a tracking update. I even watched as it counted down from 10 stops left.
When they arrived – With a smile plastered on my face – I flew up the stairs to the place the Flags would call home for until Fall.
It felt surreal. I probably grew wings and flew…..yeah that makes sense.
As I opened each package, I put on my Mama Wolf Hat turned into a giant fluffy bear that couldn’t harm a fly. I handled those flags with such care – my kids would be jealous…
I digress. I felt such an intense level of pride that just thinking about it arouses intense emotions that make this moment feel brand new….not like something that happened 6 months. But time is arbitrary most days these days….
Anyways…we posted the colors, and took a moment of silence to embrace our love of America. My home. My Country.
I posted the proud Mama photo on Facebook. And then someone corrected how I hung them. Instead of feeling attacked or judged – I did this rare thing called reading and consumed the entire US Flag Code of Conduct. And then I fixed the error. 
Side note: Thinking back on that day….I learned more about the American Flag that day then I have my entire life. Why they don’t teach more about this in school – stuns me.
I am an American. I have always loved America. And I love the Flag. But I hadn’t ever loved the flag. I am forever grateful for the blood that has been spilled to make sure our flag can fly high and mighty. 
But the flag itself – I took for granted. It wasn’t until Kapernick knelt – did I start to ask questions. I questioned my own beliefs. I challenged myself to learn more. America is not perfect. No where near most days.
But that hasn’t stopped us – or at least most of us in this Country – from knowing that America stands for greater ideals. At least it can be.
America has had dark days. A merica is having dark days currently. But America has always been a beacon of hope. Not for some….but for all.
American was making progress towards a beautiful future up until he-who-shall-not-be-named rose to center stage. We were getting tastes of what it might mean to not just survive…..but thrive.
Enter 2020 AND 2021 – and those feelings seem non-existent these days.
Not gonna lie – but I am having a hard time remembering what America stood for. Breaking news story after breaking news story has jammed the airwaves. Corruption and Terrorism in pratically every family conversation. Injustice is running rampant on empty streets that once were filled with laughing children on their way to school.
I am going to stop there. The past 5 years is still too raw right now.
As someone who has lived thru my fair share of breaking news stories since my first week as a Freshman in High School as Terrorists slammed in to the Twin Towers on live TV. I ate my bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios at my Papa and Grandma’s house, slurping the last puddles of milk as I watched in confusion as the towers began to fall.
Wait…Columbine happened when I was in 6th grade. Ugh….. I am tired of living through history making moments. Permanently exhausted overe here….
When George Floyd was murdered, the rapidly failing band-aid holding back the collective pain of the BIPOC community – could no longer be contained. Allies had enough. The murder of George Floyd was the unnecessary spark of Revolution that was festering to find traction.
As his murder was replayed, as protests and riots came alive in cities across the Planet – America’s soul broke.
Night after night, injustice after injustice, murder after senseless murder… America’s soul shattered. We are not OK. We HURT. We are…..traumatized.
As an American – I can see the light fade from the Beacon of Hope. I watch as the world laughs – or stands speechless in solidarity. As an American – I know what America is capable of.
But right now… America is wounded. America is barely hanging on. The next few days, weeks, months….years – are going to be critical for the survival of the home we know and love.
But guess what…America is a fighter. America’s Beacon of Hope is going to need us all (Unity WITH Accountibilty) to bring her in to the 21st Century.
Because America is a survivor.
The bright lighthouse that we all know America is…
….the beautiful soul that we know America can be…
…is weathering a once-in-a-lifetime storm right now.
A storm that paints the sky black…and blocks all the exits.
….But we are here. Tomorrow is coming…
…we will survive this storm.
We have to keep fighting for what is right. Accountability. Justice, Liberty, and Freedom for All because ALL LIVES FINALLY MATTER.
But right now – we are hurting. Every day is just another 24hour cycle of continuous breaking news.
Curious Question: Is Chronic Breaking News Fatigue a thing?
It hurts to feel anything but darkness. Whether it be anger, exhaustion, or grief. Pain, frustration, sadness. Angry…….numb…..
Me? My mental health is currently swimming in a swamp of toxic negativity. I feel numb most hours. Right now though…I am pissed.
Yesterday – after reading the true story behind the heroic acts of Eugene Goodman – I watched the video again for the umpteenth time. But this time – I felt my blood boil thru my parka. Ok not really – I have a vivid imagination. But the fact remains – I was all 50 shades of anger, and hate….and trauma.
If I only get one more hug in my entire life – well after my family – I would want to hug Eugene Goodman. His heroism reminded me that we have to fight for an America that is for everyone. For Mr. Goodman. For Mr. Floyd. For Ms. Taylor. For my transgender daughter. For your Grandma. For our planet.
I am an Empath. I am a liberal. I am a bleeding heart snowflake libtard who has a love of socialist programs…..
…I am a mask wearing, pro vaccinator, pro-choicer AND a believer that TRANS LIVES MATTER.
Do I love America? Yes.
Do I love it bc it is perfect? Heh trick question. It isn’t perfect. America is so extremely broken that it is going to be a long time before some wounds are healed…if they ever can be healed.
I love America because it is a beacon of hope…
….we are entering a new phase. The veil is being lifted. The trauma can no longer be ignored. We will face this head on.
But right now… America is traumatized. It hurts to look in the mirror when we feel so much pain and anger. And hatred.
Which brings me full circle back to the point of my Facebook status. Shortly after I put up the flag – I decided it was time for us Snowflakes to reclaim our American Flag.
Reclaim it to be the Symbol of Freedom for All that we were grown up believing.
Reclaim it from the Far Right who have stolen our Flag and turned it in to a weapon of Bigotry, Racism, Homophia…Home Grown Terrorism……
Post Jan 6th, 2021 – looking at the flag brings me to tears. The reputation of the American Flag…its promises of a better tomorrow – has been tainted. It isn’t a full on hate symbol…but it is coming close. 
And that leaves me wondering how one can love a Country whose flag reminds you that evil is everywhere? Surprise! It is not an either/or problem to solve. The Spirit of our Country is what fueled America’s Beacon of Hope. 
I will always love my Country. But right now….everything is too surreal to function let alone think straight.
“Taking a break” from the American Flag does not make you less patriotic. And neither does it mean you have less patriotism towards your country….your home.
In fact, it is quite the opposite.
I am going to take a leap of faith here and say that makes you just as – if not more – patriotic as anyone else.
You have this trait where you care – it’s called Empathy. It is actually a critical trait that gives you this super power where you know American is better than this. 
You aren’t ready to give up. You aren’t going to give up. You are not alone. We are all weeping together.

You aren’t ready to give up.
You aren’t going to give up.
Because you are not alone. 
We are weeping together.

Our American Flag may be stained. 
But Our American Spirit is not. 

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