Oh oh oh oh…today – she told me a brand new word that I had NO CLUE she knew.
And of course…I have forgotten the cool word and will promptly remember it when I am 2 sheep away from dreamland. Blame it on the perma-exhaustion.
What about her steps? Did she get my 10k for me? No…?
Ok sooooooooo turns out I need to get the girls out of the house and moving some more.
But but but…. look… it’s almost been a year. It’s ok to go outside, get some fresh air.
I know…I know. We cannot do anything that might require First Responders. But let’s be honest – look in the hashtag dictionary and next to #AdventuringIsAHazardousOccupation
is a pop-up photo of me…
In all seriousness… I know that as long as we are safe and socially distancing; following the laws and rules and regulations and guidelines. And as long as we are prepared… it’s ok to go for a walk.
I am going to be raw for a moment.
I had my fair share of Mental Health Dragons I was battling daily Pre-COVID.
And my girls are not strangers to anxiety.
We proudly take our daily medication so we can re-energizing our strength batteries so we can combat our anxiety dragons.
But as COVID has continued to infiltrate every single decision we have to make – it is wearing on them. On me.
These dragons are nastier. Heavier…..darker…
In the past 10 months – our girls have maybe left the property 10 times…if that. I venture outside of our home no more than 5 times a week.
For a few months there – the mere thought of needing to open the front door – caused anxiety/panic/sensory overload storms that ended in destructions and a few body holds.
I take full responsibility. I played an integral part in how our lives spiraled out of control. We are an immunocompromised household. So there is that.
But really – our pandemic didn’t start out like this. This mental place we are at now – this inability to leave our home to ground ourselves – wasn’t what we envisioned for our life.
Last April, my bestie passed away. And it brought me to my knees. My soul shattered day after day for months. So much so, that I had to fight to come back. I had to fight…to fight another day.